Just some thoughts

Depending on interpretations of what is required to become a Christian, I suppose I was "saved" at about 6 years of age during Vacation Bible School at a little one room country church called the Lone Star Church in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. Or maybe I was saved at 14 years old at a youth revival that was held in the Little Chapel, which was the church I was raised up in, also in Eureka Springs? Or was it one of the other 12,785 times (guesstimate) that I ran to the altar to lay all my sins at the foot of the cross in various churches in Arkansas, Missouri, and Oklahoma? Who knows, and does it really matter? What matters is that I am saved!

Over the years I've heard preachers tell the exact date, hour, and minute they were "saved." They tell how their lives were miraculously changed instantaneously right then and there, and how they were freed from the grip of sin. The sailor who never swore again, the addict that never used again, the alcoholic that never drank again, the liar that never lied again, the gossip that never bore false witness again, the adulterer that never lusted again, etc. Based upon my experiences as a Christian I have grave doubts about the validity of their claims, but maybe it's just my own inability to live a sin free life that causes this doubt?

Throughout the Apostle Paul's teachings, he clearly struggled with his spiritual being warring against his physical being. Paul instructed us to pray without ceasing, and spoke about the daily renewing of our faith. Through his teachings I have become satisfied that sin is an inevitable consequence of living life in the flesh. Being satisfied with that is one thing, however becoming complacent in it is another. We must never become complacent in sin. We all have our crosses to carry, and as we press on toward the prize, it is my thought that our crosses will become lighter as onward we go until we finally meet Jesus and our crosses are gone for eternity.

What a day that will be
When my Jesus I shall see
When I look upon his face
The One who saved me by his grace
When He takes me by the hand
And leads me through the promised land
What a day, glorious day, that will be!

It's been 45 years since I first prayed for Jesus to forgive my sins and be the Lord of my life and I still feel like a miserable failure. I still struggle constantly with things that (in my opinion) should've been removed from my life long ago. It's a battle I cannot win, but thank God I don't have to, because Jesus won it for me long, long ago. His grace is sufficient for me. Thank you Jesus!